The Company We Keep - A Devotion
I’ve spoken to several people this week that made me think about the decisions we make in life. Trust me, I’ve made a lot of bad decisions, but the thing I never had a problem with was choosing friends. I wasn’t part of the “in crowd” when I was in school, and I’m the proverbial wallflower at parties – which is why I avoid them like the plague. So I never had occasion to be tempted by unsavory characters. Also it didn’t hurt that I don’t smoke, do drugs or drink. That sort of leaves me out of a lot of activities that would get me in trouble.
This is something we try to teach our kids, isn’t it? It’s also one of those things our kids often rebel against. We want them to choose good friends and to stay away from the “fun” crowd. They interpret these instructions as an attempt to ruin their lives.
“I’ll just die if I don’t go to that party!”
Assuming they didn’t actually die, they are probably now old enough to be making the same demands on their own kids.
The company we keep isn’t only a problem for young people. Let’s imagine some of the issues adults might face when they don’t use discretion with relationships.
Perhaps the ex is causing problems: “I should have listened to my mom. She told me not to marry him.”
Or they have a friend who is clingy and needy: “They always want something from me.”
Or maybe a friend doesn’t know when to stop drinking: “If I don’t go with him to the bar he’d never make it home alive.”
I heard someone complain about the problem one of her “friends” was causing her because he was always making bad decisions.. My response was, “You need to make new friends.”
That advice is seldom taken.
I understand that from a Christian point of view we sometimes feel as though we’re obligated to stick with that difficult person. Aren’t we supposed to love them? Aren’t we supposed to share Christ with them?
Yes, to both questions.
But there comes a time when we have to take care of our own spiritual life. Is your family life being disrupted by this friend? Do you feel stress in the relationship? Most of all, have you sought God’s direction in this circumstance?
I had a coworker, a friend who I loved dearly. But she struggled with addictions and with out of control OCD. I was dealing with my own emotional struggles at the time, and working with her every day was not helping. When the addictions got the better of her, and she had to leave the job it was almost a relief. She lived 35 miles away from me, so I could visit her from time to time, but was not overwhelmed by her neediness.
Sometimes we need that separation. How did it end? She got saved. Then she was diagnosed with brain cancer and several months later went home to be with the Lord. I was involved in her salvation, but I can’t take any credit. The Lord worked in her life in spite of me. AND He kept me sane in the process!
We’ve all seen stories on news shows about people who have been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Often it involves a “friend” who took them into that situation. The classic example is the person who drove the getaway car for her boyfriend and sait in the car as he and another friend robbed a store. She said she didn’t know what they were doing, but the old adage is true: ignorance is no excuse. She was an accessory, whether witting or unwitting, and she did jail time.
The most extreme story I’ve been a part of was many years ago when I worked for a social services organization. One evening I heard on the news that a girl’s dead body had been found. She had been murdered and an attempt was made to burn the body. It was a horrendous story, made worse in my mind by the fact that it happened less than 50 miles from my home.
The next morning all of us were astonished when one of our clients informed us that, while she wasn’t involved in the murder, she had accompanied her “friends” when they took the body into the woods and burned the body.
Didn’t see that one coming.
We made sure she spoke to the police, and I’m sure she was charged with something, but we lost touch with her after that.
We may not have stories that extreme, but who we hang around with does matter.
I see a biblical example of this principle in 2 Chronicles 20:31-37. Jehoshaphat, who was one of the few good kings of Judah. The Bible says he “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord” (v. 32). Only three verses later we find him making a terrible decision: an alliance with Ahaziah, one of a continuous line of wicked kings of Israel. They made a deal to have a fleet of trading ships built. It was nothing personal - just business. But it was a choice to align with someone known for his wickedness.
Jehoshaphat was judged for his faux pas, but on the whole he got off easy. The fleet he had spent so much time and money on was wrecked and destroyed, but Jehoshaphat got away with his life and a fairly good reputation.
We lecture our young people about the importance of their reputation and character that could be destroyed in a moment by a “friend” who leads them astray.
As adults, we are just as vulnerable. As a Christian I know that I need to be a testimony to the unsaved around me, and I have had many friends over the years who were not Christians. I have always had boundaries, however. Had I been asked I would never have gone with my friend to a bar.
Sometimes we have to draw a line.
Take my advice. Don’t help your “friends” burn a body. And don’t be the getaway driver for your boyfriend.
Sign up for my newsletter and receive more FREE stories, articles and devotionals.
Copyright 2024 Joyoann Dwire All Rights Reserved
